Chemo Ride #2

By -
I'm sitting here at chemo, the anti-nausea drugs dripping before I start the Taxotere and Carboplatin. I'll also get Herceptin today, but not the Zometa. Michelle, the adorable chemo nurse giving me my meds today said that my blood counts are great--no lows. This is fantastic, given the fact that usually chemo kills off a lot of white blood cells (I think). So that's great news.

I have no deep thoughts today. My well of wisdom has run dry, the deep, profound thoughts run amok. Heretofore thou shalt all be bored senseless by my inane ponderings of insignificant drivel.

We brought the girls in this morning to get a tour and meet everyone. They were great and of course charmed the socks off everyone. I put Eliza in pig tails to make sure that her cuteness properly motivates all relevant personnel to kick ass on my behalf. Clark then took them outside where my mom took over--she had brought an elaborate picnic and outdoor activities--they had a great time and even managed to give their extra food to some homeless men loitering around the park. Good thing, since I was upstairs engaging in sinful behavior (see below).

Jeremy, my brother, brought some software over to load onto the laptop. Janalee dropped her kids with my mom at the park across the street and came with her camera to document "chemo in real life."

We also decided that there's a definite market for "Chemo Porn" and while I'm no model, and couldn't begin pose nude with a chest port and cytotoxic drugs dripping in, as I would invariably crack up and have snot running down my face (soooo sexy), I think there may be money to made somehow, someway. During this discussion, Jeremy and Clark blushed and hid their faces, protesting loudly that they were not associated with us, but merely peripheral victims to our depravity. I laughed till I nearly peed. Good, clean, cytotoxic fun. Nice photos, jc, baby. The last one is the boring chemo shot. But, there I am, hooked up, pumping in, kickin' ass.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hammers and Villages

By -
I want to be concise and brief, but it won't turn out that way. Also, I won't post a photo of me in my briefs. That, I will spare you. The details, I will not. They will be long, drawn out, horrifying but funny, and potentially nauseating. Yesterday was one of my hardest emotionally. We dropped the girls at Janalee's (she's a brilliant, creative friend who creates the funniest , realistic, "life as it really is in the trenches of motherhood" cards: check them out--I've probably sent a few e-cards to each of you at one time or another: www.motherhoodwithattitude.com (What's not to love about a company with a name like that?) She lives about two steps from Rose Medical Center, which is where our treatments are, and has offered me the bed in her basement closet anytime. She's such a doll. She also facilitated a lemonade stand, in the rain, with six little girls in princess dresses (Katie, excluded of course, who, at eight, is too old for dress-up, u...
Read more

Miracles

By -
Whenever I find my mind going to “chronic disease” or putting some arbitrary time limit on my life, almost automatically, without real intention—what could almost be called a default—either I whisper or am whispered to, “Except for the miracle.” I’m a hold out for a miracle. Whether this is faith or foolish hope will invariably be proven in time. Whether this is faith in miracle by way of a wicked cocktail of cytotoxic drugs, a willfulness to keep laughing, the drive to continue the tedious, holy work of bringing presence to the mundane of the everyday, or something else out of my hands altogether, I don’t know. What I do know is this: cancer hasn’t made facing the everyday challenges I always have struggled with easier: the challenge to engage my children remains, the hard work of corralling my rogue thoughts out of the ruts of neurosis persists, the pursuit of being present and intentionally living in the daily, the tedium, continues. It hasn’t made it easier, but it has made it more...
Read more

Fear

By -
I woke up this morning to a back full of knots, cranky as hell, and ready to rip off anyone's head who came too close. And.....he did. Poor man. Bill, I think he may need to go out for that beer with you. I didn't sleep well at all, Eliza being fussy and needing too much reassurance to give me more than a few consecutive hours of already-restless, angst-laden, tossing-turning half sleep. The coffee didn't even satisfy, the taste falling flat in my mouth. Normally, I need coffee like an addict needs heroine, but the only thing I could taste this morning was bitterness at meaningless platitudes flung out of other's selfish needs for their own validation and disregard for what might actually help me. In the midst of a fair amount of reasonable terror, by anyone's standards, trite phrases that attempt to put a mere band-aid on my gushing wound do little more than exacerbate the fear. To be fair, there have been precious few flung out, and particularly not from anyone wh...
Read more